Good things can come from fear.
Of course, not in the sense that you are feared for your life or health of yourself or a loved one, but from the fears we all experience in day to day life and choose to ignore. Like taking risks, taking the first steps towards a big task or challenge, asking for advice, sacrificing old habits and comfort.
It’s when you are able to take an honest look at yourself, who you are, what you’ve become and ask if it’s who and where you want and expected to be. When the answer is no, then what are you willing to do about it? Are you willing to sacrifice nights out drinking and eating? Are willing to give up parts of your social life to succeed in whatever the task? Can you imagine breaking old habits and developing new, healthier habits bit by bit to take you to where you want to be?
Over the last 5-6 years I have had a couple hundred people come to me for help, advice and some kind of guidance. Several of those people still work with me consistently today, which I am very grateful for. But the sad thing is that many only go as far that initial reach out. A text, an e mail, a comment in a feed. These are cries for help without the courage to move forward with what comes next. Pretty often still I’ll have someone reach out for help but quickly back away in fear when it comes to taking action. This is that threshold of the first step. This is when it’s do or die. Many fear a simple phone call, or meeting me in the gym. If you are too scared to commit to a 15-20 minute phone call, then what do you expect to happen when it comes time to get to the gym and do a workout, actually walk somewhere, or eat healthy meals more than once or twice a week.
“Oh I don’t have time to call.” “ I’ll just ask a couple questions and back away from any actual steps towards greatness”. Really? 15 minutes for free help? Then you’ve got a real problem. Or maybe instead of slouching over your phone flipping through your social media at mindless garbage for a total of 2 hours a day like the average American, you could make the time to get help and work towards your desire. Everyone has 20 minutes.
“Oh I wouldn’t be able to afford coaching” “But I’ll eat out 5 times a week, drink almost daily, smoke away about $50 a week and basically pay to stay fat, unhealthy and unhappy.” I’d bet you have developed a few expensive, unhealthy habits over the years that are contributing to you staying where you are and probably making it worse. Eating out, drinks, substance abuse, smoking, taking cabs and Ubers instead of walking a few blocks, double mocha latte every morning etc. Or maybe you’re trying to overcompensate how you feel and look by getting pampered with getting your hair or nails done frequently, buying new clothes that fit better to hide your excess body fat so you can hide behind fashionable clothes and forget how you really feel. I know, I’ve been there. Except the hair and nails part I used to wear a vest or jacket constantly to hide my man boobs and beer gut. I see you doing the same. It took me some deep thinking and soul searching to find the courage to start the process. Many of my clients have all dealt with the same things. We all do. One example is a long-term client of mine I met on the floor of the 24 hour fitness I used to work at. She walked into the gym looking terrified, confused, timid and self-conscious. I approached her and ask if she’s like to try something new. She was literally shaking in fear, couldn’t look at me directly and spoke very softly. Fast forward a couple months and she has lost pounds of fat, gained muscle, strength and confidence. She now walks into the gym with her head held high, energetic and ready for the days challenge. You are not alone.
Sounds scary right? Too hard perhaps? Want to back out immediately after reading some of this? Sure, at first it is a little frightening if you’ve never made big changes such as these. It’s not easy either. But it can be done. I have yet to meet a person that has not felt better about themselves mentally and physically after taking action towards their goals.. Not 1 person has ever said “Man I feel great, I’m looking better, I’m stronger and more confident, but I think I want to go back to my old unhappy, unhealthy, lazy and weak self”. Once you conquer that initial fear, everything else is easy. Like a roller coaster. It’s scary at first, but you want to do it again as soon as it’s over.
When I started making changes I was worried about several things. I later found that many of my clients had similar concerns such as:
Q: What will people think of me?
A: Most will think you are doing good things and encourage you to keep at it. Some will not.
Q: Will people judge me?
A: Yes, some will. But they are naysayers trying to hold you back because of their own insecurities and needs, not yours. These people are not true friends, but foes in disguise. If they cannot see you working towards good, a desire, self-improvement or better health, then they need to be cut out of your circle. This is tough, but their true faces will show when you start to make progress.
Q: Will I still have the same friends?
A: Your TRUE friends will remain, and that’s all that matters. The rest is clutter. You will also gain new friends that have a similar pursuit and struggles.
Q: Will I still be able to do all the things I like doing?
A: Of course. Odds are you’ll be better at them. And the unhealthy habits you like doing now will probably become somewhat revolting to you later. I distinctly remember the smell of fried foods for example. It now disgusts me. I used to love drinking beer and eating pizza. Now I dabble occasionally and quickly remember why I stopped doing those kind of things.
Q: What if I fail?
A: Odds are if you’ve gotten this far to read this blog on my website, you won’t. You are interested in this. You have made some of the first steps into researching what is best for you. Keep taking those steps each and every day and it will all be a thing of the past, just something that you do and enjoy now. As results come, you will only be further empowered and happy with your new life style.